behind the word

So lately I have been thinking about things in a different light. For example, I caught myself saying " She really has a nice life, she deserves it" then I caught myself and thought about the word I had actually said and then backpedaled a bit by saying "well, not like other people don't". That's where it started. I have spent some time thinking about the word "deserve(s)(ed)" and what it really means and it's implications. First of all I have decided that I don't like the word. And second it seems to be a very negative word. Since I caught myself saying this word in above sentence, I have since stopped using it. If you think about it, who's to say what one person may deserve over another, or rather it implies that there are less deserving people. There are a lot of people out there going through some hard times, doing everything they can to support their families, are they any less deserving of this "nice" life. I know it's all relative, and what one may see as a nice life, another wouldn't but you could use the same analogy to any use of the word. The only time I can justify the proper use of the word, is for murderers and child molesters, because in my eyes, they "deserve" to die a horrible death. But do they really? I guess it's a personal opinion shared by many. Others might argue that they "deserve" a second chance after doing their time for their crime. But did that child "deserve" to get molested? Did that family "deserve" to lose a loved one? It is a debatable subject. One I would like to have one day with the right person who could maybe shed a different perspective on the subject/word. In the meantime I continue to think about the word and all the ways it could be used or said and still come back to the idea that it is a negative word. And I for one do not want to imply to any one that one is more deserving than another. As human beings, living with good intentions, I believe we are all "deserving" to have a good happy healthy life.