a small release

Sometimes I feel like I have to be so strong for the people around me, and generally I enjoy doing so. Then there are those days when I feel so weak and broken and I feel like I am not allowed to be weak or broken because I have had my share. And those people will see me feeling so down and wonder how they will be able to do it themselves, because at times, it is SO hard. I often have to remind myself that it doesn't last forever, the children grow and what I see now as challenging will be pale in comparison to the new challenges I will face. That is all, I know I am only human and I need to take care of mine, and everyone will take care of theres.
on another note-

Dear friend,
We have known each other for many many years and I have been wanting to tell you how I feel about a particular thing for some time now so here it goes: I love you more than most people I know and yes we live far apart and we have for many many years. And no, I don't expect to be your "go to" person for all of life's little problems, although I am not going to lie that it would be nice. But when we talk and I do tell you of the hard times I have had and you feel sad and guilty that you are not there for my life problems, and tell me that you want to be and that I should call you when I feel down, so then the next time I call you and feel down, ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE! or at least return any one of my many calls. You can't expect me to call you when I need someone to talk to if you never pick up your phone. I know that certain people count on me for things and when they call, even if I am in the middle of something, I find a way too answer, even if its only for a minute. I make the time. It is hurtful, It is really hurtful when you justify your lack of communication with some bullshit excuse. I deserve better than that. So next time we talk you can keep your apologies because you obviously don't mean it. And if you do it is short lived, and we have known each other way too long for anything to be short lived. That is all. Oh, and I still love you more than most people I know.